Wanna know how we cope and stay sane amidst all the client requests and workload we handle daily?

The answer is patents!

Not trying to be sarcastic here, but while working on projects which require searching through hundreds of patents every day, every once in a while, we come across a patent that blows our mind and gives us a good chuckle. We keep sharing such patents on our internal discourse thread and since it’s New year, I thought why not share some of these patents with you, and give you something to laugh about.

Ready?

A Portable Bath Capsule

It’s winter already, not the GOT one, that’s long gone. But it’s cold. And agree with me or not, I know some of you have a hard time getting off your couch to take a bath. To help people like you and me (don’t judge), this guy came up with the idea of “A portable bath capsule”(US3677263).

Of course, he devised this invention to help bathe bedridden people. But I don’t see any harm for us couch potatoes using this invention.

What’s next, you ask?

Maybe an Office work in bed capsule. Howzat? Hold your horses’ fellas. it’s long in the making.

Flying House

Moving on to yet another flabbergasting invention.

Well, someone got inspired by “UP” the movie, and guess what happened next?

Well, apart from “he chased his dreams and love” and all that other stuff, this person came up with a flying house(CN202969984U) and since he wanted old Carl to live in peace, he made this house shock absorbent.

Ah! What a wonderful house, floating in the air, far from the chaos. UP… UP… away and gone!

Flabbergasted?

Wait till you read the next one.

Fart Gas Collecting System

Can you fart louder, longer and stronger?

If you said yes to all of these then you can be World’s best Fartist! (Just don’t get overwhelmed by performance pressure and you are good to go :p)

Yes, you heard that right, and No, I am not out of my mind.

Recently, Surat’s (a city in India) residents organized “India’s first fart competition”.

Alas! Participants didn’t show up and those who did couldn’t perform, but maybe you can.

And what good would that make you, you ask?

Well, according to this person, it can help control pollution.  He proposed a smart, efficient, cheap and productive way of collecting greenhouse gases. In simple terms, fart gas collecting system(CN204032059U) which turns waste into treasure.

Wait, there’s more.

Hip Hop Aerobic Exercise Doll

Been exercising lately? Maybe you will, once you get this hip hop aerobic doll(US7128691) to keep you company.

Convincing enough?

Well, the idea behind this particular one was to help us couch potatoes lose weight in a fun way.

The doll goes all like,

“I like to move it, move it,

I like to move it, move it,

I like to move it, move it,

Ya like to move it, move it!”

Latex Rubber Spider Ladder

The next one is about the itsy bitsy spider we’ve all read about in nursery, but here’s the catch.

Itsy bitsy spider, went up the bathtub,

Down came the water and washed the spider in,

Out came the spider ladder and helped the spider out!

Yes, a latex rubber spider ladder(GB2272154A) with suction, designed exclusively for spiders to get their way out of our baths. And some say humans are not considerate enough. Well, we care about our bathroom insects!

D Box

And with a huge round of applause, let us thank the person who invented the only source of indefinite happiness, the d box(CA2708652A1).

(People cheering in the background, having absolutely no idea about the product!)

So, what is it?

Hate being around people? But also feeling lonely? Want a girlfriend/boyfriend (or both, whichever pleases you)?

D box is the ultimate solution for all your problems, answer some questions about the partner you wish to find and the next thing you know, d box would be writing poems for you and might wake you up with a sweet morning song (just don’t expect any action, LOL). In short, d box will become the partner you want (till it’s charged and connected to the Wi-Fi)

Look, we found you a Wife(y). Hang around and see what else we got for you!

Haunting Aid

Are you scared to watch a haunted movie alone? Or are you scared that you may not be alone while watching it?

Well, this guy found a better option – Watch it with your very personal ghost(US20050018451A1)!

Or get yourself some jack-o-lanterns and skeletons, devils, reapers, witches, warlocks, ghouls, goblins, mummies, zombies, werewolves, vampires, lepers, and their heads and get that spooky party goin’!

Swing on a Swing

Did you know you could be infringing that swing method you use to swing your kid at the park?

Yes, we have a win(n)er here, who patented his swing method, the features of which are described in great detail in this patent(US6368227).

Help yourself out, ‘cause I am not even going to start talking about it.

Playing a Bowling Game

And if that’s not enough patent to your funny bone, read this method of playing a bowling game(US6142880).

Remember it the next time you go bowling!

Oh wait, this one got me thinking. If you know why, please let me know too okay?

Kick-ass Machine (Literary)

I mean, why would someone invent a kick the buttocks machine(US6293874)? I know your badass self might be thinking, why not?

But hold on, it’s an apparatus that kicks the user’s butts! Now why in the world would anyone invent that? And to add a cherry to the cake, apply for a patent?

Gender Telling Number Plate

While you are free to let your mind wander to all the ideas for the use of the kick-butt machine, let’s get to the next invention which will switch on your feminist self!

This person came up with an idea of a number plate(GB2339950)that reveals whether the driver is a female or a male, and the public can then accordingly decide to change routes or continue.

So, the public is safe, but oh boy! Who’s going to help this guy from being dead meat?

This brings us to the end of the list of some hilariously weird patents, which I assume gave you quite a chuckle and maybe expanded your horizons. As they say about human minds, there are no constraints to it, no walls around the human spirit, and no barriers to the extent of our imagination. This list is one beautiful example of the same. If you enjoyed this list, why not share this with others. Because.

When it’s hilarious and you know it,

you should share.

When it’s hilarious and you know it and you really really want to show it,

you should share!

Come on, share along.

Authored by: Nidhi, Research Analyst, Market Research.